So, the news from Tampa tonight… There’s good, there’s bad, and there’s ugly.

The good news is the Yankee bats are sizzling. Amongst the fireworks tonight were a two run dinger by Brett Gardner; Chris Stewart building upon a five game hit streak; Jayson Nix with multiple hits, including an awesome triple; and David Adams continuing to swat Mr. Rawlings like a ten year veteran.

David Phelps also carried himself like a veteran. He cruised along effortlessly, sitting nine consecutive Rays at one point and didn’t give up a hit until the fifth inning. Even when Tampa tagged him in the sixth for three runs, Phelps stayed composed. It took a comebacker from Zobrist in the eighth to remove him from the game for precautionary measures. Early tweets from Bryan Hoch and Meredith Marakovits say Phelps only incurred a right arm contusion. X-rays were negative.

The bad news is Curtis is right back on the Disabled List for a minimum of four weeks. He got plunked tonight and was removed from the game. After tests, his left pinkie finger was found to be fractured. Grandy had only been back for eight games.

The ugly? Tampa pitching. Roberto Hernandez pitched four innings and allowed five runs. Cesar Ramos came in for an inning and allowed three more runs. Along the way, Granderson got his finger broken when he was hit by a pitch; Robinson Cano got plunked as well; Jayson Nix drew a walk while the bases were loaded. Neither the plunks nor the bases loaded walk were intentional. Yuck. It will literally be a different ball game with Moore on the mound.

All in all, a good start to the series. Even with the loss of Grandy. The Yankees reached first without him after all. A perverse side benefit of his loss is that the outfield logjam is suddenly eased.

Okay, that’s a stretch but I like my eggs sunny side up. Sue me.

Let’s take a look at how the AL East has been shaping up and take a guess at who will win the Division.

1 - The New York Yankees

Surprising everyone except writers at this site, our boys remain in sole possession of First in the AL East. Gone are the predictions of doom and gloom. Gone are the doubts and dread. The Yankees, it appears, are still the Yankees. This despite a continuing slew of injuries to key players.

Veteran players have experienced a career resurgence. Hafner, Wells, and even Lyle Overbay have proven potent. Bats have heated up. Mistakes have been pounced upon. One player falters and another steps up.

Pitching remains strong. Hiroki Kuroda is cruising. CC is steadying after a slow start, which is what he always does. Mo doesn’t age, apparently. We are glad he is on our side because he is scary. Actually scary. Like, undead scary.

As the season progresses, the Yankees will have a very good chance to maintain their standing. Stars are beginning to return, with many more in the wings. Guys are going to be fresh.

Prognosis: Excellent.

2 - Boston Red Sox

The Ancient Enemy. They just don’t go away. Here they are again, nipping at the Yankees’ heels in the standings. Lester is a bona fide ace once more. Big Papi is experiencing a near-Jeterian late-career surge. A new fire burns bright in Fenway Park.

The sentimental side of me is happy to see the Sox doing this well, as long as they don’t do better than the Pinstripers. Regardless of how they make you feel, the stronger the ball team is in Boston, the better they make the men of the Bronx.

Prognosis: Very Good.

3 - Baltimore Orioles

The O’s are legitimate contenders. They are also breathing down the Bombers’ necks and won’t be letting up anytime soon. They will visit the Bronx shortly. That series should not be missed. It feels odd to be wary of Baltimore, but they should not be underestimated ever again.

Jim Johnson is officially an elite closer. His ERA is minuscule, his K rate is solid, and his consistency is very high. This guy has an amazing future ahead of him if he remains healthy. This is bad news for everyone else in the entire League, let alone Division. Keep an eye on him. Both when you can spare them.

Prognosis: Very Good

4 - Tampa Bay Rays

This team has stumbled out of the gate. The Rays live and die by their pitching and it has been inconsistent this year. Matt Moore will have one great game and then a couple of horrible ones. David Price is nagged by bad luck in one start and left with no run support in another. James Shields is in Kansas now, so the rotation is not quite as lethal as last season, leaving less room for mistakes.

Bats wise, things have gone South. Like Antarctica south. As in freezing cold. Ice world. We are saying they cannot buy hits in Tampa right now.

Will this continue? Hard to say. Certainly any team with David Price and Evan Longoria always has a chance. But the bullpen needs some serious shoring up and somebody is going to need to thaw out the bats.

This does not mean they are to be taken lightly. The Rays up their game against the Yankees. Everyone does, sure, but Moore dominated the Bombers not long ago, and they barely escaped with a win against Price that same series.

As with a wounded beast, approach with caution.

Prognosis: Long Shot

5 - Toronto Blue Jays

Oh, man. If the Rays stumbled out of the gate, the Jays ran into the wall. And then had it fall on them. Followed by the rest of the building. And then a plane crashed on top of them. And the plane was full of lava cactus monsters that squirted acid at their genitalia before burying them in pig feces.

Toronto, what is UP with you? Seriously, this isn’t even funny. The Jays have always been this long suffering city’s best hope for a win in Major League sports. This was really looking like the year too.

The Jays finally have a smart and savvy GM in Alex Anthopoulous after the disaster that was the JP Ricciardi era. He brought in an All Star roster. Expectations were atmospheric. Fans were absolutely ecstatic. That is entirely evaporated now.

After a spate of injuries and massive ERA inflations, it can only be said that combining good players from three bad teams does not make a winner.

Also, Toronto is cursed. The sports gods hate them. Sorry, folks.

Prognosis: Not this year. Next year also not looking good.

And there’s your AL East breakdown, Beasts.

*note- this blos was subsequently published by bleedingyankeeblue.com: http://bleedingyankeeblue.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-al-east-from-beast-to-least.html

Just a few notes on assorted non-Yankees…

Jason Kipnis has come on strong in the last two weeks, shaking off an early season slump. The Indians Second Baseman has 4 homers and 13 RBIs these last 14 days. If you play Fantasy Baseball on the Internet, check and see if Kipnis is sitting on your wire. He may have been dropped by a manager frustrated by his early non-production.

Chris Sale is on a roller coaster this week. He went from tossing one hit shutout ball against the Angels on Sunday night to getting an abscessed tooth removed on Monday. He is not expected to miss his next scheduled start Friday, against the Angels again. He will hope to improve his already impressive 2.88 ERA so far this season.

R. A. Dickey seems to be at least trying to adjust to life in the AL East after a somewhat rocky start. He gained the W against the champion Giants this week and has had five quality starts in eight tries. But his ERA sits at an uncomfortable 5.06 currently, and those losses have come in bunches. Stay tuned.

The good news on Bryce Harper is that he is not hurt seriously after slamming into the outfield wall Monday night. He has no concussion and needed 11 stitches on his chin, but no major injuries were incurred. The bad news on Harper is he is sporting a measly .138/.297/.241 slash line for the last two weeks. So a few days off might do him a whole lot of good.

The Pirates are scaring people with their bullpen. Mark Melancon leads the league with 13 holds. His ERA is an itty bitty 0.47, with a WHIP of 0.68, making him the ideal set-up man. Considering that Jason Grilli is making a case for best closer in the league right now, teams should be wary of letting Pittsburgh hold a lead late in the game with their vicious one two punch from the mound.

There’s some of what’s happening with the non-Pinstripe crowd.

*note: This blog was picked up by bleedingyankeeblue.com: http://bleedingyankeeblue.blogspot.com/2013/05/notes-that-could-help-your-fantasy.html

I was asked who I thought was the most influential Yankee in the 70’s. Who else? Reggie. Yes there were other players. Yes, others were just as important, if not more, than Reggie. But you asked me. And for me, it was Mr October.

Why?

I was a kid. The world held even more magic in those days. My childhood was idyllic. Lots of running around outside. Baseball gloves. Baseball cards. Comic books.

My Yankees were golden. Reggie was their leader. If the team was The Justice League, then Reggie was Superman. Had his poster next to Superman’s, actually. I saw them on the same level.

The year of 1977 was the Year of the Yankees. Everything was Reggie Jackson, Star Wars, baseball, my family, and the Yankees. I could not have been a happier kid. Memories of Reggie are tinged with gold.

I could bore you with what Reggie did. I could drone on about his legacy. I could espouse upon his sobriquet of Mr October. But if you are visiting this website, I don’t need to. You know who he is.

But just for argument’s sake, here’s one reason.

Here’s another.

And let’s make it three.

So there are a few points to back up my statement.

Put simply about Reggie Jackson, he is one of my heroes. Chances are he is one of yours too.

Quite a lot of talk about Curtis Granderson of late. Some folks, including some of my esteemed colleagues, believe we should trade him. He will not give us the bang for our buck. Let’s see what we can get for him in a trade. And so on.

Speaking honestly, I cannot say I was a big Grandy fan when he was first signed to New York. I knew who he was but wasn’t impressed or despairing that he would now be wearing Pinstripes.

That changed fast.

Grandy converted me. I now preach the gospel of Curtis. It wasn’t because of his home runs or flashy defensive plays. It was because of his heart. He struck me as a player who had always wanted to play for New York. He still gives me that impression.

He plays with intensity and joy. He is quick to smile. He is kind to his fans and keeps himself away from trouble and scandal. He comports himself with the class and dignity befitting the Pinstripes. A-Rod never did that. He never came close.

So I want him around. Why not? We can afford to hang on to him right now anyway. The vets are pulling through. The Yankees are winning. Why would we not want to benefit from the boost Grandy’s return will give everyone?

Put his bat in this lineup. With Cano. With Hafner. With Wells. With everyone. Opposing pitchers will have fits. Who do you pitch around?

There is no real reason to trade Curtis right now. Perhaps this may change. Perhaps not. Let him heal. Let him rest. And let him come back more fired up than ever.

Curtis Granderson plays like he has always wanted to be a Yankee. We should let him.

*Note - this blog has been picked up by bleedingyankeeblue.com: http://bleedingyankeeblue.blogspot.com/search/label/chad%20r%20macdonald

Dave Barry once said, “If someone is nice to you but is not nice to the waiter then they are not a nice person.” Servers and bartenders know this to be unequivocally true. Be assured that anyone demeaning a waiter has usually not worked in the restaurant industry. Or at least not for very long. It is “beneath” them.

Everyone should work in “The Industry” for at least two years. The job will teach you to improvise; be quick on your feet; multi-task; prioritize; schmooze; problem solve; take responsibility; and save face. All skills important to business and/or employers.

It will expand your tolerance, empathy, and intuition. It will sharpen your deductive abilities, define your confidence, and bolster your toughness. All qualities important to being a good and just person. And a leader.

It will introduce many friends. Some will become important for the rest of your life. Most will come and go. A select few will be memorable for how much misery they inflict upon everyone, and these are usually the folks in charge.

Most importantly, The Industry will show you what people are really like with their guard down. They will half notice you as you drift in and out of their time. It’s a hard picture to take in. You will experience constant casual cruelties. Incredibly irresponsible parenting. Outright douchebaggery.

Etiquette is a lost tradition. You will learn this quickly. Hopefully, it will make you more polite. It will certainly make you appreciate good manners more than you did before.

You will see extraordinary kindnesses. You will be involved in intimately personal experiences. Perhaps you will be the catalyst of a first date that leads to a marriage. Perhaps you provide a sympathetic ear on the bar at just the right time to prevent tragedy.

Just be aware of the dark side. The Industry means a life shifted into the shadow of everyone else’s. You work during everyone else’s party time. You party when everyone else sleeps. You sleep while everyone else works. Sometimes you will feel like a ghost. The only ones who can see you are your fellow members of this Secret Society.

Most shifts are stressful. You will need to unwind. By the time you can, there will be no other choice but a bar with other Industry folks. You will have a great time. You will spend a lot of money. You will do it every night.

Workers in restaurants and bars are second only to construction work in terms of alcoholism. It is a real danger.

Health insurance? Sick Leave? Pensions? No. Paychecks are low to non-existent. Many American Industry workers are paid only in tips. Depending on others for your income can be either rewarding or depressing. And it is a mistake to dwell on the results. Move on to the next bill.

The Industry can trap you. That’s fine if it’s what you want to do but many lose the thread of their life’s plan and The Industry claims them. Staying late. Covering shifts. Working on days off. Constant long hours. It takes over your life and leaves you time for nothing else.

But The Industry has many lessons to teach. Everyone should learn them. In many ways it is a microcosm of life in general. Do the best you can despite the pressure from all sides. Make what you can and save what you can. Keep your dreams in sight and do not succumb to the everyday grind. Tolerate the bad in people and embrace the good.

The Industry is not for everyone, but everyone should learn this for themselves. To serve others is to learn more about yourself. To learn more about yourself?

That’s the point of life.

“You know except for that mustache, you look just like my mother.”

“But I don’t have a mustache.”

“Yes, but my mother does!”

It’s time for a mustache ride! Baseball and nose beards have gone hand in hand forever. There are so many great players known for their skills and facial hair. And there are many more players known for just their facial hair. Here are some of the best known mustaches in baseball, and therefore the world…

Don Mattingly.

Our own Donnie Baseball came to be known for his trademark crumb catcher. Donnie B’s look beats out even Mike Schmidt and (of course) Bill Buckner. Tom Selleck based his look for the movie “Mr Baseball” on Don. Okay, no, Selleck based his look on himself but had the same thing goin’ on as Don.

Mattingly was famously chewed out for his whiskers by Mr Burns on The Simpsons, who considered them sideburns. Donnie then commented how he liked Burns better than Steinbrenner.

Travis Snider.

Travis isn’t particularly known for his talent but he once grew a peach-fuzzfest memorable for its sad yet endearing hold on life, when Snider should have really pulled the plug. He made our next candidate look awesome in comparison…

Joba Chamberlain.

As it was memorialized on a Facebook Yankee fan page last week, “Joba Chamberlain is warming in the bullpen. Joba’s mustache is not.” Sadly, Joba has taken such good natured ribbing about his cookie duster seriously, and has dispatched of it. Boo.

Pretty much all of the late eighties Minnesota Twins…

Tom Brunansky had a lip shadow.

Alvaro Espinoza had a face lace.

Craig Kusick had a tea strainer.

I know Minnesota can be crisp, temperature-wise, but there must have been a similar clause to the Yankees restrictive facial hair policy. Mustache required, perhaps. Well they got a Championship out of it at least.

Speaking of the Yankees “mustache only” facial hair policy, we will now take the opportunity to call David Price a big chicken for his “no shaves till Brooklyn” philosophy. Grow a pair, Price! A pair of handlebars!

Then there are the Fu Manchus! Manchi?

Rod Beck.

Dennis Eckersley.

And “Mad Hungarian” Al Hrabosky.

We cannot forget Goose Gossage.

This ‘stache was singular to Goose and Goose alone. Nobody else could or would dare to trespass upon this individual accomplishment of awesome upper lipholstery. Only one was more impressive, and that could only have been…

Rollie Fingers.

Please. Like there would be another World Champion. His grass grin could literally take your eye out.

Now as much as I would love to stay and chat, I really mustache.

I thank yeeewwwwwww…

*Note: this blog has been picked up and published by bleedingyankeeblue.com: http://bleedingyankeeblue.blogspot.com/2013/04/i-mustache-you-question-but-im-shaving.html

I am worried my son is a jerk.

Liam screams for boobies like a drunken frat boy and shits himself while wailing incoherently. I know we all have had benders but come on, it’s been at least a year since I have done anything like this.

He hates being changed. Hates it. He screams “DON’T TOUCH MY JUNK!” But then again the first time somebody got near that area he ended up circumcised, so you can’t blame him for having issues.

Liam poops a lot. So he rages often. And then demands to be fed so he can poop some more. And rage against being changed. Which works up his appetite. So he eats more which causes him to poop yet again. He never allows sleep to interrupt this cycle.

His poop noises are hilariously absurd. It is hard to believe a baby is capable of such loud emissions. I constantly doubt the noises I hear are Liam. Instead, I go to the window to look for the truck that just backfired.

At work, my fellow laborers and I have a weekly competition for the Brown Belt. Odor, noise level, and vibratory resonance are the determining factors in judgement. Artful delivery is also considered.

Not to put too fine a point on it but many contenders prepare by eating nothing but chili the previous day. I had thought myself well armed before I met these guys. I have yet to win a Brown Belt. Those who know me will find this hard to believe.

Liam can defeat all Brown Belt Champions in noise and vibrations and especially odor. He can do all of this while sucking on boobies so he nails artistic delivery as well.

He is not genteel during feeding. He slurps loudly and paws the boobies in a way that would get me slapped at the very least. Even if they ARE my wife’s boobies. Especially if they’re my wife’s boobies, actually.

As far as I can tell he’s riding on his looks. Robin is all enamored with him but I am a little more suspicious. After all we don’t know anything about the guy and we are supposed to just live with him? Shouldn’t there be an interview at least? I couldn’t find anything about him online. What’s he hiding?

He is a terrible roommate. He is rude, inconsiderate, loud, parties all night, and is always complaining about something. Not to mention his obsession with my wife’s boobies.

A friend of mine posted a cute meme on my Facebook wall the other day that sums up our sleep patterns. To paraphrase; to “sleep like baby” it is assumed, is to sleep peacefully all night long. What it actually means is you wake up screaming every couple hours because you shit yourself. And now I’m hungry!

Still, there is no denying that he’s pretty cute. Cutest thing ever actually. And right when we are ready to scream with frustration, he smiles.

Smiles.

D’aawwwwwww haaaaaaa haaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww! I love him SO much!

I think we will keep him.

Canadians are generally known for being friendly and hospitable. However, if you wear pinstripes in Toronto that myth goes right out the window.

“Hey buddy! Yankees SUCK!”

Keith and I had been going to see the Yankees there for years. We met shortly after I arrived in Toronto and he immediately challenged me about my Yankee hat. Wanted to know if I was really a fan or if I was just wearing it to be cool?

A partnership was born. Two Pinstripers in a sea of Jays. We both were studying to be Masterful Hecklers so it wasn’t really a problem. Besides, as long as Roy Halladay wasn’t pitching, the Bombers would spot the Jays a run or two and then come roaring back.

“All you guys do is BUY Championships!”

But the point is we dealt with a lot of hostility. Most of it said jocularly. Some not so much. We looked for openings to heckle back, wore cool jerseys, and worked every angle in order to fly the colors proudly in enemy territory.

During the last season of Classic Yankee Stadium, Keith traveled to NYC to pay homage. He returned with Rocco, who would become our secret weapon. We would learn quickly that Rocco shielded us from attacks.

Rocco was a punchy puppet. You know what I mean, with the boxing gloves. He had a bemused glower and a nice jersey. He was a smash hit with children and instant kryptonite to Jays boosters. Rocco could freeze anyone harassing us dead in their tracks.

When someone hollered anti-Yankee sentiments our way, neither of us would react. After a beat, Rocco would rise slowly above the crowd’s heads and turn menacingly towards the offenders while extending one gloved fist at them. He would then turn around and gracefully sink back into the crowd. Neither Keith nor myself reacted to what Rocco did.

There would be stunned silence for a few seconds, followed by raucous laughter from the entire section. We were gold after that, free to enjoy the game and heckle as we wished. Nobody would bother us with negativity.

Rocco became more than a puppet. He took on a life of his own and became a force for good. We wondered many times as to why these things weren’t sold in every ballpark. But because they weren’t, Rocco gave the Yankees a huge boost.

The next year I made a pilgrimage to see the new Stadium in the Bronx and also came back with a puppet. They had a new design which was perfect. Each had a distinct look.

The new guy came to be known as Joe Da Clippah. He was a little more intense than Rocco. His teeth were gritted and his eyebrows angled down. He was clearly spoiling for a fight. Rocco would often have to restrain Da Clippah, which added to their overall charm.

The puppets were so effective at quelling Jays fans that Ace, Toronto’s costumed mascot, began picking fights with them. We would end up on the Jumbotron as Ace threw popcorn on Rocco only to turn around and face Da Clippah.

Families would pose for pictures with the boys. Jays fans would smile and laugh upon sight of the puppets. Rocco and Da Clippah turned out to be awesome ambassadors for the Yankees.

And best of all, they would distract Toronto fans from supporting the Jays. Hey, we will take any advantage we can get. We advise Yankee fans abroad to start bringing puppets with them to games. Maybe we could get some kind of Secret Society thing happening. Puppenati or something.

The Yankees will be in Toronto this weekend. I am back in New York but Keith is still in Toronto. He will be at a game or two.

Watch for Rocco.